Welcome to the Adventures of Ichabod Temperance!
I’m thrilled to share this fun and exciting series with you today, in particular, vol. 2 A World of Intemperance! This Steampunk tale has it all! Adventure, thrills, romance and fantastic characters! I also have a really cool giveaway for you all to enter, so be sure to read through to the end to enter!
A World of Intemperance (Vol. 2 in The Adventures of Ichabod Temperance)
Publication Date: October 27th, 2015
Genre: Fantasy/ Adventure/ Steampunk
It is New Year’s Eve, 1875. In this humorously told Steampunk tale, adventure-prone Ichabod Temperance and his lovely sweetheart, Miss Persephone Plumtartt, once again find themselves swept up into a whirlwind of misadventure and international catastrophe. The entire world totters on the brink of war, as various nations develop arsenals of dreadful power. It seems as though every nation on Earth lusts for Empire. A sinister plot boils to change the course of human history. Along with a remarkable cast of characters, including sapient animals and clockwork men, our heroes find themselves plunged into unimaginable peril!
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“This ist a wild saloon, to which you have brought me, Agent Murray. This strange clubbe, it is filled with loud musics und coloured lights. I think they need to open a window. That’s funny, there are no windows.”
“That’s okay, Wolfie, where they lack in windows, they make up in gorgeous Sheilas.”
“Ja, there are lots of pretty girls in here. These vomen, they really like to show off, but I worry for their stability. Many of the vomens must cling to strategically placed brass poles for balance throughout the establishment.”
“I thinks they find it helpful in their rhythmic, exotic, gyrational, contortions.”
“No one takes our food order, only drink, drink, drink.”
“If you’re hungry, have some nuts.”
“I am very wary of that bowl of peanuts.”
“Hey, how about you girls joining us for a drink?”
“Sure, big boy, you can buy me a drink.”
Drink! Drink! Drink!
Girls! Girls! Girls!
Maybe my buddy wuddy Jamesy is not such a bad guy afferall.
Oh! We have a new girl! Oh, we have two new girls. They are big, healthy female specimens!
“Beat it, girls, these boys are with us.”
“Hey, sister, we were here first…Ow, my hair! Eek!”
“Do you girls want to leave under your own power, or should my friend here assist you?”
“Okay, okay, lady, we’re leaving. These guys are all yours.”
The first newcomer, underwear-clad girlie confidently throws a leg over and plops down in mein lap. We face each other very closely.
“Hiya handsome. My name’s Wilhelmina, what’s yours?”
Her companion has pulled the same maneuver vith James.
“I’m Gretchen. What’s your name, fancy?”
“My name’s Fred, my buxom Tazmanian dream. This less interesting bloke is my friend Barney.”
“A couple of high rollers like you should be in the escorted companionship of a couple of beautiful ladies like us.”
“Roight, I couldn’t agree more!”
“So, Barney, ya wanna buy Wilhelmina a drink?”
“Another round of Koala Zombie Killers, Ja!”
Drink! Drink! Drink!
Girls! Girls! Girls!
“We like to party; do you boys like to party?”
“Well Gruber, Gitchen, Gretchen. Ish likes dis. Oi’m the party, seez, anna Barney over there is wotcha call the pooper.”
“Nein, Barney eez not zee partzee poopzen. It eez you, Freddy pooper faish.”
“Come on boys, let’s go back to your hotel where we can party in private.”
“Fred, you create a diversion at zee desk, vhile I sneakenzie zee girls past und up to our rooms.”
I have a tough time opening zee door. I might be a little drunk. Maybe I’ma lotta drunka.
One of zee gurls playfully pushes me through zee door as I open it. It’s Wilhelmina. She playfully pushes me down on zee bed. Using her silk stockings, she playfully ties mein hands to zee posts.
Gretchen has done zee same to James, only vith zee chair.
“You girls are lots of fun!”
The two gurls exchange a look. The warm, playful, passion that they had so recently shared, noticeably cools.
“Rough! Rough!” barks Fred.
Gretchen tosses Wilhelmina a length of wire. It has a large ring woven into either end.
“Vos ist los, Wilhelmina?”
“Relax, Wolfgang. This will be over in a minute.”
“Nein! There has been some mistake! Mein name eest Barney!”
Wilhelmina, she wraps the garrote around mein neck!
About the Author
Standing over five feet, seven inches and weighing in at better than one hundred and thirty pounds, Ichabod Temperance is ‘The Alfalfa Male.’ After lengthy music, karate, and pro-wrestling careers, Ichabod’s involvement with movie stuntwork has led him to write these whimsical, steam-driven adventures. Mr. Temperance and his lovely muse, Miss Persephone Plumtartt, live in Irondale, Alabama, USA, along with their furry pack family.
Print Copy of any volume in The Adventures of Ichabod Temperance Series! Click the link below to enter!
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