Movie Review

Happy Christmas eve!

Can’t think of a better way to see out the year, than with a scathing review of a horrible movie lol! Check out Lisa’s review of Cats, and then have yourselves a wonderful holiday season!

Cats (2019)

A tribe of cats called the Jellicles must decide yearly which one will ascend to the Heaviside Layer and come back to a new Jellicle life.

Review:

Cats is Andrew Lloyd Webber’s beautiful stage adaptation of T.S. Eliot’s collection of poems called ‘The Old Possums Book of Practical Cats’, or it was until Tom Hopper (director of Les Miserable) got the marvellous idea to turn it into a film…

I went into the screening of Cats with my claws partially out as I had already watched the trailer, I had seen enough to make me hiss, yet I wanted to give it a chance. I had discussed it with a director friend of mine, both of us love the stage production, and decided that I would jump in and hopefully land on my feet. I did not! The first thing I noticed about the film was the terrible CGI, I honestly think had we seen the film with just the green screen it would have been more believable. I tried to see past the CGI but I honestly believe had this been produced with the actors in outfits, rather than using CGI, that this would have worked out so much better. There is a scene, with mice and roaches, where the human faces are badly added, and my hand rested firmly on my forehead.

In the stage show the cats break the fourth wall to explain to the audience, through song, what they are seeing but the film does this though explaining what is going on to an abandoned cat called Victoria. I can understand why it is done this way but it leaves the prologue of the opening number, ‘The Naming of Cats’, not making sense at times; ‘There’s a man over there with a look of surprise, as much as to say “Well now, how about that?” Do I actually see with my own very eyes, man who’s not heard of a Jellicle cat?’. This is taken completely out of context, as is a lot of the film.

Casting was dire! We have the narrator, Munkstrap (played by Robbie Fairchild), but he is not leading the story at all. I was waiting on him taking control of this the whole film but the character comes across as no different from the rest of the cast. Jennyanydots is completely murdered by the casting of Rebel Wilson, direction and production is to blame also but Rebel Wilson is not someone who should have this role. Bustopher Jones, played by James Corden, has been made a mockery of. He is a gentleman who is very much into the finer things in life, and who I named one of my own cats after, but the film has turned him into a laughing stock. I believe that Corden could have played Bustopher beautifully had he the original story to work with. Bustopher Jones’ story is, traditionally, sang by other cats who admire him but in the film all lines are sang by the character himself.  The Magical Mister Mistoffelees is NOT a shy cat, regardless of what the film would have you believe, he is a fantastic magician. I love Dame Judy Dench but no, just no, whoever thought to cast her as Old Deuteronomy must have had too much catnip. I would have placed her as Grizabella the Glamour Cat, who was played by the outstanding Jennifer Hudson, the character she was originally meant to play on stage until an injury forced her to pull out. Macavity is played by Idris Elba, oh someone just put me out of my misery because this doesn’t work either. The character of Growltiger is played by Ray Winstone and that casting was just perfection. I could go on dissecting the issues with the casting and direction but I won’t as we would be here all day, but what I will do is tell you that I stormed out of the screen and decided to get ice cream; the only reason I went back in was because my daughter was still in the screen.  This is most certainly a career low for many of these actors.

I spent the majority of the film shaking my head or with my head in my hands due to all the issues, my daughter put her arm around me a number of times to ask if I was ok but all I could reply with was a shaking of my head. I texted my husband, during the show to tell him that it was sacrilege.  Between the bad casting, horrendous CGI and the downright deplorable screenplay I would suggest that you, dear wonderful reader, do not waste any of your nine lives by going to see it but instead watch a copy of the production staring Elaine Paige and Sir John Mills. My advice as to how to deal with this film is to treat it how people are said to treat their unwanted cats; put it in a bag, in a river with a brick.

Rating: Negative Stars